Fights in the chat world

BRING out the popcorn, there’s a fight on WhatsApp.

Yesterday, in one of my many WhatsApp groups, a Sabahan Datuk from a prominent political family called an opposition politician a coward.

The politician retaliated instantly with a 908-word message, accusing the Datuk of being a traitor to Sabahans.

It’s at times like this that I say a silent “thank you” to whoever included me in a must-read WhatsApp group.

Currently, that particular WhatsApp group is my favourite. Many of its members are the who’s who of Sabah, with a sprinkling of prominent Sarawakians. The main topic of discussion is Borneonisation.

Nowadays, if I don’t check my WhatsApp for an hour, there will be at least a thousand unread messages. That’s what happens when you are included in a few dozen WhatsApp groups.

Previously, because I’m a polite and curious person, I would speed-read all the messages. But I’ve realised it would take me at least one hour to read all of them.

Now I only read my must-read WhatsApp groups (for example, the Star Online group consisting of my colleagues and my family group consisting of people who share the same father and mother as me).

Other must-read groups are the ones that act as stress relievers. There you can be yourself and talk with people you are comfortable with.

For example, Barang Naik, one of my favourite chat groups, helps us to forget about the sometimes harsh reality of life.

But some of my former must-read WhatsApp groups have become just noise.

For example, at first it was refreshing to be part of the group which discussed how to unite the Kadazandusun community in one political party.

Some in the group missed the good old days of Parti Bersatu Sabah led by Tan Sri Joseph Pairin Kitingan that ruled Sabah from 1985 to 1994. Back then, all (or almost all) the Kadazandusun-majority seats were won by the party.

I found it politically stimulating to discuss how to unite the Momoguns (inhabitants, which some Kadazandusun want to be called as they hope that word “original people” will unite the community). However, a year later I found that the conversation had become iri om iri (Kadazandusun word for “the same thing”).

It was as if the group was stuck in the late 1980s, discussing the issue to death.

If I cut and pasted all of my messages from that group, I could probably write a thesis on why the Kadazandusun community could never ever be united as a political entity.

There’s never a day without someone fighting on one of my WhatsApp groups.

Either that, or someone angrily quitting the group. Usually this person will be reinvited, participate actively and then will suddenly get angry and quit the group again a few weeks later.

Have you noticed that in a WhatsApp group with more than 50 members, there is always someone whom you don’t know, who is either drunk, on drugs or just toxic? This person is verbally abusive in his messages.

I’ve learnt never to argue with such a person as, to paraphrase George Bernard Shaw, when you wrestle with a pig, you get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

There are also characters who will choke you with their baseless opinions. They tend to make unsubstantiated statements, and when you contradict them backed with facts, they then dig themselves deeper into their “baseless” hole.

There will also be two characters in a big WhatsApp group who are great rivals. They remind me of a quote in the movie Unbreakable starring Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson.

“Now that we know who you are… I know who I am. I’m not a mistake! It all makes sense. In a comic, you know how you can tell who the arch villain’s going to be? He’s the exact opposite of the hero, and most times they’re friends, like you and me,” villain Elijah Price (Samuel L. Jackson), whose bones break easily, told David Dunn (Bruce Willis), who possesses superhuman powers.

The two rivals will dominate the group with their personal attacks against each other. Sometimes when I’m in the mood, I take out the popcorn and watch.

But the attacks have become recycled and I get bored after awhile.

Since I can’t cope with my many WhatsApp groups, I have politely declined invitations from personal friends to be part of their group.

For example, I have begged, “please, please don’t include me” to my former best friend who wanted me to be part of her ex-school mate group.

She kind of took my not wanting to be included somewhat personally.

To my ex-classmates from Stella Maris primary school, La Salle secondary school (both in Tanjung Aru, Sabah), Prime College and Sunway College, “I’m sorry, I really don’t have the time to chat with you all.

“If you want to chat with me, WhatsApp me personally. Thanks.”

I hope they understand that I don’t want to end up practically living in WhatsApp.

Plus, sometimes it is tiresome to chase after fake news shared in the social messaging app.

Fights in the chat world